Write me whenever
November 1, 1992
Dear Ari -
I got your beautiful and very touching letter on Friday. You really do express yourself amazingly well and you are wise and aware well beyond your years. A lot of much older people than you don't understand feelings as well as you do.
Firstly - I want you to know that you can call or write me whenever you want and you can tell me anything and it will stay between us.
Secondly - about your parents fighting and how it makes you feel - I think it would be a really good idea if you could tell your parents - or at least your mom - how you feel. Tell her how it hurts you and scares you and ask her questions and try to discuss. I know she will feel bad that you are hurt but that's ok because it's only when we are open and honest with each other that we can get to solving problems and understanding each other.
Also, no matter what problems your parents have it is really important to know that it has nothing to do with you and you are not causing the fighting. And you and Gabriel are so important to them both and they love you more than anything.
You are an extremely special girl and you bring sunshine and great pleasure into everyone's lives. You really are bright and sensitive and gunny and delicious and very perceptive. (That means that you understand things that aren't always so obvious. You figure things out). You are also so so so so kissable!!
About boys - what a big subject! We'll be talking about this for years to come. Boys are a big subject in a girl's life. So now it's beginning for you - or at least you would like it to being. It feels bad sometimes when boys don't pay attention to you. All I know is - they will. I used to tell Jacquie that when she was upset that no boys ever paid attention to her. She got impatient waiting and didn't believe me for a long while. But eventually things changed, time passed and boys started paying attention and calling her. I know it will happen with you too because you're beautiful and bright and have a great personality. So hang in there and don't think too much about the girls that are popular with the boys now. Sometimes the cutest and most popular girls in high school are not special after college.
About Jacquie - while you were in The Gap with your Mom last Sunday Jacquie and I were sitting in the mall waiting for you and we talked and kissed and hugged. I feel a lot calmer now about her trip than I did last week. It's been hard for me to accept that she would drive across the country by herself and be alone so much. It scares me. But Jacquie is an adult - 23 in a few weeks - and a good and responsible person and good driver too. And so, I had to calm down and accept her decision. Was I right?
By the way, no matter how old we are, we go through periods of confusion or scariness or just not understanding our feelings and it makes us act not quite like we usually do. I had very mixed up feeling about Jacquie going and it caused me to cry a lot and to say or act in some ways with Jacquie that I shouldn't have. Everybody goes through things like that.
O.K. Pushkie - I must go now.
I love
You Love
We love each other
That is love
I luff you
I lerve you
I loave you - (Woody Allen)
Write again -
Lillian
P.S. Ask Liza about boys. She has lots to tell you.