This is my Fragile Now


This is my Fragile Now

Sweet Sweet XXX,

There are things I need to say that only a letter can make clear...

I love you dearly, you have become one of a few that I hold in the center of my heart.  You are caring, intelligent, sensual, hilarious and true to the core.

I love you as I love my children, my brother, my parents.

You are my Lover.

I find myself in a space like no other I have ever experienced.

I am getting a divorce from XXX, a woman that I have loved everyday since my 21st Birthday.

She too has loved me everyday since XXX.  She has not done this the same way as I,  but she has simply done the best she could.

Her devotion still remains unparalleled in my universe, regardless of our shared tragedies.... We are beautiful.

I was there, I watched her give birth to our children.  In 15 years we have struggled and loved each other in every conceivable way.

I have broken her heart time and time again as she has mine.

She knows that she turned away from the ideal... of pure love and fidelity.... and that this was my nightmare and thus there is no point of return to my dreams.

She has finally shown me her profound sorrow and devastation, for infidelity and requisite lies and secrecy.

She and I will live with this heartache for the rest of our days.

It is only now, in forgiving her, and myself, that I have found an even truer love.

A love that is my profound gift to give and knows no boundaries.

My devotion is unquestionable period.

And it belongs to both of you.

But most importantly it is my gift to myself.

I will never again experience true love as it is bound by fidelity.

I will only experience it as the profound sharing that it is to be.

Love, is now and forever something so much more for me.

I cannot exist in a box.

My heart belongs to both of you, and the way I feel in this moment is beyond description.....

I am taking responsibility for myself.

I am finally going to rest.

This is my Fragile Now.